Your Biology is a Policy Failure
Modern urban planning has reached a stunning consensus: human biology is a bug, not a feature. We’ve spent the last three decades meticulously removing the one piece of infrastructure that every single person on the planet needs at least four times a day. It’s an impressive feat of engineering to design a city that treats a basic kidney function as a criminal act of loitering. If you’re wandering through a major Western metro area and feel that familiar pressure, you aren’t just looking for a toilet; you’re looking for a loophole in the privatization of the sidewalk.
We used to call them public utilities. Now, they are 'nuisance attractants.' By removing benches, leaning rails, and especially restrooms, cities have successfully signaled that the street is for moving, not for being. If you stop to exist—or worse, to satisfy a biological urge—you are officially a problem to be managed. It turns out the easiest way to manage that problem is to ensure there is nowhere for the problem to go. It’s a masterclass in 'out of sight, out of mind,' assuming everyone's mind is currently distracted by their exploding bladder.
The Five-Dollar Piss Protocol
The current solution is to outsource our bladders to the private sector. We have entered an era where your right to relieve yourself is tied directly to your ability to purchase a $7.50 oat milk latte. The 'Go Piss, Girl' discourse isn't just a meme; it’s a desperate survival guide for a world where the code to the bathroom is printed at the bottom of a receipt you didn't want. We’ve effectively privatized the human digestive system, handing the keys to a shift manager at a fast-food chain who is tired of cleaning up after a society that refuses to build its own drains.
Consider the sheer efficiency of this model. By making toilets private, we ensure that only 'productive' members of society get to use them. If you can’t afford the transaction, the city’s message is clear: you should have thought about that before you developed a renal system. It’s a brilliant filter for the 'wrong' kind of people. In London, for instance, the number of public toilets fell by 40% between 2010 and 2018. That’s a lot of people suddenly realizing that the 'public' part of public space comes with a very specific, commercial asterisk.
Defensive Architecture as a Personality Trait
Designers call it 'hostile architecture,' but that sounds so aggressive. Let’s call it 'proactive exclusion.' We install blue lights so people can’t find their veins, and we remove toilets so they can’t find a moment of dignity. It’s all part of a cohesive aesthetic that screams, 'Please leave as soon as you’ve finished spending money.' The removal of the public toilet is the crown jewel of this philosophy. It’s the ultimate way to tell the elderly, the pregnant, and the unhoused that the city isn't actually for them; it's a corridor between two retail experiences.
We’ve reached a point where the most radical thing a city can do is provide a clean, free place to pee. Some cities are trying 'Portland Loos'—those sleek, stainless steel boxes designed to be easy to clean and hard to sleep in. They’re built to be just uncomfortable enough that you won’t want to stay, but functional enough that you won’t ruin the sidewalk. It’s sad that we have to trick ourselves into providing basic sanitation by marketing it as 'vandal-resistant technology' rather than, you know, a human right.
What This Actually Means
When we treat the need for a restroom as an individual failure rather than a collective responsibility, we aren't just being 'fiscally responsible.' We are deciding who gets to participate in public life. If you can’t find a bathroom, you can’t stay in the park. You can’t walk the high street. You can’t exist in the 'public square' for more than two hours at a time. This isn't an accident of urban design; it is the design. The lack of toilets is a silent gatekeeper that works better than any 'No Trespassing' sign ever could.
Investing in public sanitation isn't about 'managing a nuisance.' It’s about admitting that we are all biological entities with the same inconvenient requirements. Until we stop treating the toilet as a luxury amenity for the paying customer, our cities will remain nothing more than high-end transit zones for people with very strong bladders and even stronger credit scores.
Quick Answers
Why don't cities just build more toilets?
Because toilets require maintenance, and maintenance requires a budget, and budgets are currently reserved for things that don't involve cleaning up after the general public.
Is this really about 'defensive design'?
Mostly. Removing toilets is a passive-aggressive way to push 'undesirable' populations out of visible spaces without having to actually address the causes of poverty or homelessness.
What happens if I can't find a bathroom?
According to the current urban planning manual, you are expected to simply cease to exist or find a very large, very discreet bush that hasn't been replaced by a spike-covered planter yet.
